Self awareness is all about intention. Intention is being thoughtful and purposeful about what you want – simple, but yet so powerful. So let’s start with being intentional about who you surround yourself with – in your mind.
Radha Agrawal, in her book Belong, introduces the ‘Mean Girls’ (or Mean guys) of our mind: Comparison, Perfectionism, and Judgement. They bully you, make you feel insecure, and pull you away from your authentic self. “Comparison separates. Judgement disapproves. Perfectionism nitpicks.” These ‘Mean Girls’ are responsible for our anxiety and insecurities, and we all have them in us. The thing is, Mean Girls don’t just disappear, it’s your decision to be friends with them or not.
There is one problem though: a huge contributor to the ‘Mean Girls’ is social media. Social media gives us more ways to compare, judge, and perfect ourselves with the tap of a finger. “Mean girls inspire vanity and insecurity instead of community and support.” Community and support is what social media was made for, but our ‘Mean Girls’ have taken over. We have filters and edits that play into our need for perfection, with post after post creating more things to judge and compare ourselves to. When I scroll through social media I often find myself growing a ‘Mean Girl’ mindset; seeing a photo of someone on vacation and comparing that to what I’m doing, which is sitting on my bed staring at this post thinking, ‘ugh I wish that was me’. We all have our ‘Mean Girl’ moments, and the best advice is to recognize when they’re taking over, and move your awareness towards another group; Your ‘Soul Sisters’ (or Soul Brothers/Soul Family).
Your ‘Soul Sisters’ are Inspiration, Gratitude, and Curiosity. They’re accepting and supportive, great listeners, and cultivate positivity! Our ‘Soul Sisters’ let us be real. Moving from your ‘Mean Girls’ to your ‘Soul Sisters’ is key in order to be fully self aware and take control of your life, and here’s would you would do:
Instead of COMPARING yourself to someone else, allow them to INSPIRE you.
Instead of focusing on everything that’s going wrong, focus on all the things that are going right, and feel GRATEFUL for those things.
Instead of JUDGING yourself and others, become CURIOUS about why you feel judgemental.
These conscious shifts will help you live the life you want, so go spend some time with your Soul Family.